Is this your first holiday season since the separation or divorce where you’ll have to spend part of it without your children? It’s tough, and the first year is usually the hardest. But it doesn’t have to be all bad. It will simply be different. Here are a few tips to help you get through it:
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Accept that life has changed and that’s okay.
Things won’t be the same as before, so try to embrace the change instead of resisting it. -
Plan early.
Don’t wait until the last minute to coordinate schedules with your ex. And remember, your kids want time with both parents. -
Christmas doesn’t have to be on December 25th.
If you won’t have your kids on the 25th, plan a “special Christmas” on the day you will be together. You are not giving anything up, just rearranging. -
Don’t spend the holiday alone.
If this is your first Christmas without the kids, reach out to friends or family. Invite yourself if you need to. You deserve company and support. -
Start new traditions.
Creating fresh traditions can help you and your kids adjust to your new normal.
This first holiday season as a single parent can bring emotional ups and downs. That is normal because you are still healing. Try to focus on the future rather than dwelling on the past. Think about new possibilities. Are there activities you have always wanted to try but never had time for? Now might be the perfect moment. Take an art class, schedule a weekend trip with a friend, or plan a relaxing solo spa day. And of course, keep it within your budget.
Speaking of budgets, try to avoid the trap of overspending on gifts in an attempt to be the “better parent.” Kids see through it and they truly do not care. They will enjoy the gifts, but only for a short moment. What they really want is your time. Your time is what creates meaningful memories. Consider skipping expensive gadgets and choosing a board game or activity you can do together. Those are the moments your kids will treasure and you will too.
Good luck this holiday season. Remember, it does not have to feel like an ending unless you choose to see it that way. Choose instead to see the beauty of a new beginning. You can do this.