To Stay or Part Ways? Navigating the Decision to End a Marriage

Jodie Lane, AAMS®, CDFA®, MSEM • August 17, 2023

Is it surprising to learn that many individuals contemplating divorce entertain the thought for over a year, and often much longer, before taking action? In some cases, despite clear early signs of trouble, the decision to end a marriage remains profoundly difficult. Many decide to endure, only to be left by the very partner they had considered leaving.

 

What causes this inertia? Why do we linger in uncertainty? Why do we endure so much? While I'm no psychologist, my close observations and personal experiences with the complexities of divorce have given me insights worth sharing. Let me enlighten you with some realizations, reminiscent of Oprah's wisdom."

 

       

**Reflections on Love and Relationships: What I've Learned**

 

Marriage vows, when uttered with sincerity, echo the promises we make to our partners. These reflections have come from my own journey, and I hope they offer food for thought for anyone navigating the complexities of relationships:

 

  • When couples recite "for better or worse," it's heartening to realize that many truly intend to stand by these words. They pledge wholeheartedly to face challenges together. However, it's vital to recognize that constantly sacrificing oneself is not a sign of a healthy relationship.

 

  • Constant struggles in a marriage might be an indication that you're not with the right person. A partnership should bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.

 

  • If you find yourself constantly disliking who you've become, it's time to reassess. Love should uplift, not bring you down.

 

  • Feeling dominated, overlooked, or perpetually misunderstood are signs that the relationship might not be right for you.

 

  • Staying together solely for the children's sake can often do more harm than good. Instead of shielding them, it might expose them to an unhealthy model of love.

 

  • It's paramount that children witness a healthy love dynamic. It lays the foundation for their understanding of relationships in the future.

 

  • When you're with the right person, love feels almost effortless. I can vouch for this, having found such a bond myself.

 

  • The ideal partner not only complements you but also inspires you. Their presence should make you feel fortunate and motivated to be the best version of yourself for them.

 

Cherish these insights and use them as a compass in your journey of love.

This information is not intended to be a substitute for seeking legal advice from an attorney. For legal or tax advice please seek the services of a qualified attorney and/or qualified tax professional. 

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